Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

It hardly ever happens for me this way, but the first time I tried to transform my chocolate chip cookie recipe into a gluten-free version, it was bangin'. I'm up here posting it now while I still remember what the heck I did. As a bonus, I was reminded that it was my neighbor's birthday today. Lucky me! I had tasty treats ready to bake! He was happy with his plate of cookies.

Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 and 3/4 cup plus 2 TB Jovial Foods Gluten-Free Pastry Flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup plus 2 TB granulated sugar
2 flax/chia eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup mini bittersweet chocolate chips

*Prepare your flax eggs first as they have to sit for 5 or 10 minutes to set.

Flax/chia egg
-1 TB flax and chia blend mixed with 3 TB very hot or boiling water equals 1 egg.

You will need 2 flax/chia eggs, so combine 2 TB flax/chia blend with 6 TB very hot or boiling water and allow to set for 5 or 10 minutes. If you can't find a blend, just using ground flax seed will do fine. The same ratio and time applies if using just ground flax seed.

Instructions:

*In a medium bowl, sift together the pastry flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

*In a large bowl, cream until fluffy the butter and sugars. Add in the flax/chia eggs and vanilla extract and mix until combined.

*Add the dry ingredients to the creamed butter mixture and mix until just combined.

*Add in the mini chocolate chips and mix until combined. You might have to use your hands.

*Refrigerate about 30 minutes to an hour before baking. The batter can be refrigerated for a couple days as well. I baked some without refrigerating the batter and they were fine. they just spread out a little more, so if you do that you might want to leave a little extra room in between the raw cookies on the baking sheet.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

*Place parchment paper on a baking sheet.

*Dip 1 TB of cookie batter, shape into cookie form and place on baking sheet, leaving at least an inch in between cookies.

*Bake at 350 for about 15 minutes

Makes about 30 cookies

I am VERY happy with this recipe. I thought about replacing the butter with ghee, since I tolerate ghee better, but the butter was sitting there so beautifully on my counter from where I was going to make honey cupcakes with buttercream icing for a party but then decided I didn't feel like it, that I just had to use it. I have no regrets.

Now on to anxiety and the suggested reading for my kindred spirits dealing with it. There are two other books besides the one I talked about in my last post that really helped me out. "10% Human" by Alanna Collen and "A Mind of Your Own" by Kelly Brogan, MD.

"10% Human" is unique in that biologist Collen based this book on peer review journals. It's all science. She talks about the experiments that have been done on mice and their microbiomes, the value of good bacteria, the dangers of having an imbalance of good verses bad bacteria in your gut, and the health implications of such. Gut health is a hot topic these days. This book is phenomenal if you want to get in to the nuts and bolts of it. I own several copies of this book so I can lend it out and still have one to reference. I thought I was a pretty healthy eater, but I totally changed my eating habits after reading this book and have felt much better because of it.

"A Mind of Your Own" is a refreshing account of the possibility of restoring mental health through diet and exercise. Dr. Brogan started out as a standard western medical doctor then psychiatrist, prescribing various drugs and psychotropics for our increasingly common ills. Then she realized that something wasn't right about loading us up with drugs when her own health started failing. She now runs a psychiatric practice that treats women with anxiety and depression through dietary and lifestyle changes. She no longer prescribes psychotropics and has a very high success rate in guiding her patients back to a state of mental health.

I like it that Brogan gives a list of supplements that can be taken but says to take it with a grain of salt since we don't really know enough about the efficacy of taking vitamins and such. She says you can try it, but don't rely on it. Let's see what you're eating and how you're spending your day. She got me back to practicing Kundalini Yoga, which has been so wonderful for me. I highly recommend it. She also got me paying attention even more to what I eat and weeding out inflammatory foods. Think of "10% Human" as the why it's broken and "A Mind of Your Own" as the how to fix it. 

There is one thing that neither book talks about that was key for me. Homeopathy. Once I started applying homeopathy to my situation, things really started to come together. I had less and less waves of anxiety. I cannot recommend Joette Calabrese's blog enough. The protocols that she teaches are phenomenal. Joette is an advocate for healing the gut. Why avoid all these foods your whole life? Just heal the gut! "How do I heal my gut," you ask. Homeopathy. It takes time, but it works.

This whole conversation reminds me of a song. Anyone remember the S.O.S. band?
Take Your Time. Do It Right.

Every little thing that I've come across in my journey back to health has been an important addition to my little ever-expanding tool box. I hope you find some new and useful tools here too.

And if you have time, check out this cool Tiny Desk Concert I came across today. It inspires me even more to follow my joy.

Vegan Carob Cupcakes

Dear God,

I really miss pizza.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for carob.

In light and love always,

Rhonda Leigh


It took a complete mental breakdown to get me where I am today, and where I am today is what my goal was for years, even before there ever was an anxiety issue. While there are some things I miss because of all the changes I've made to bring myself back down to earth (hey, pizza...maybe someday we can be friends again), I'm mostly grateful. I have a whole new perspective on life and a much improved appreciation of this thing we call living.

I still find much joy in baking even though it has to be gluten-free and vegan if I'm gonna consume it, and I find even more joy in being able to recognize it when I get a trigger to binge eat. Thank you, EMDR! It's so nice to know that I can get upset and not helplessly consume five or six of these things in one sitting. Is anyone else out there reading this an emotional eater? It doesn't have to be that way forever, which is why I'm comfortable laying this yummy recipe on you.

Vegan Carob Cupcakes

1 1/2 C gluten free flour (I use Jovial foods gluten free pastry flour #4)
3/4 C granulated sugar
1/3 C carob powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 C veg oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 flax egg
1 C water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

*for flax egg
  -combine 1TB ground flax and 3 TBs hot water, allow to sit for 10min

*sift flour, sugar, carob, baking soda, salt in large bowl.
*add oil, vanilla, flax egg, and water to flour mix and combine well.
*fill a greased muffin pan 3/4 full and bake 20-22 min or until toothpick inserted comes out clean.

The original recipe can be found here. I found that adding the flax egg was very helpful with moisture content after I switched to my gluten free version. If you use regular flour you can omit the flax egg.

I'm probably going to be talking about anxiety a lot in my new posts. I've met so many people that have suffered, are suffering, with it. I feel like it happened to me for a reason. I'm not afraid to talk about it, and I enjoy sharing what I've found works for me in combating it. I have found meaning in my suffering. As Viktor Frankl wrote in Man's Search for Meaning, "In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice."

If what I've gone through ends up helping at least one person come through the other side of anxiety safe and sound, then my suffering was worth it. I don't know if I'm completely over being knocked on my ass, but I have certainly picked myself up enough times these past two years to know that I'm not giving up. I've gone from not being able to even drive down the street (any street) without having a panic attack, to driving three hours on the interstate this past Wednesday to our family vacation destination with no problem at all. I've gone from having anxiety all day long with severe panic attacks every few hours to only having anxiety before my cycle, to having a couple months in a row with no anxiety at all and even longer between panic attacks. Hallelujah!

One of the most helpful things for me was reading this book: Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes. She talks about the anatomy of a panic attack. She describes so fully what it is doing to your body that it took the terror away for me. She helped me understand that if I stopped being afraid of being afraid, the anxiety would eventually stop. And it did. It got me out of the loop. I highly recommend this book for anyone in crisis. There are a few others that helped me too for different reasons, but this one broke the cycle for me so I could start to function again.

There were hormonal issues due to taking birth control that got the anxiety fire blazing for me, so I had other work to do to as well, but Weekes book was a life saver and got me through the worst of it.

I am a fighter through and through. I don't give up. I might shake, I might cry, I might fall down, I might even lay there for a few days, but I eventually get my ass up and try again. As for music, I may not be a black woman, but I'm feeling these jams by Jamila Woods. I can relate to them for reasons other than color. Maybe you can too.

Jamila Woods: NPR Tiny Desk Concert

Carob Banana Smoothie

Wow! It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've posted. 2016 was the year from Hell and it's taken me what feels like a long time to recover. But I guess in the grand scheme of things it wasn't that long at all. Nothing like a little spell of overwhelming and debilitating anxiety to help you reevaluate your life.

One of the things I've realized during this journey back to the light is that I need to be careful about what I eat. I've avoided eggs for years, but gluten, dairy, and soy are now on the "No" list. I also try to avoid sugar, but it creeps in there from time to time. I am hoping that I will one day be free of all these food sensitivities. I've been following Joette Calabrese's homeopathy blog and employ the Banerji Protocol she suggests for allergies. It can take a long time to clear, but I'm going for it. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I've come up with a few choice treats that keep me satisfied. The carob banana smoothie is on the top of my list right now. It's simple, quick, and delicious...if you like carob. I happen to love carob. Some people say it tastes like chocolate. If you listen to them and expect chocolate, you're going to be disappointed. Carob tastes like...carob.

Carob Banana Smoothie
1 cup unsweetened flax milk or milk substitute of choice
1 frozen banana
2 TB carob powder

*Place all ingredients in a blender and mix until smooth and creamy. Add more liquid if too thick. Sometimes I add a dash of ceylon cinnamon. Pour in a pint size mason jar and enjoy!

And while you're drinking it, maybe you'll wanna treat yourself to some good tunes. Moon Hooch is Josh's favorite band, so I got him tickets to their show in Seattle last month. The Accidentals opened up for them. I'd never heard them before. Wow...just wow! So talented and I love their story. Earthbound is the song Tuesday and I jam out to the most. Amen for good music!